Where do I even start? An Update…

I moved out

Well, sort of. I still rent the flat, but I have moved back into my old supported living home until I find somewhere new and permanent (I hope) to live. Since moving out my mood has got better again, I have managed to reduce my Clonazepam and I am sleeping through every single night. I still have to wear my ear defenders sometimes though because my room mate is Gandalf the hamster and he plays me the music of his people all night (bang, crash, wallop, chew, plop… general hamster noise). I have all the things I need to be happy here; the computer, my TV (although I broke the aerial by mistake…), internet and lots and lots of Pokémon on my 3DS. Not everything came with me sadly…

Barney crossed the rainbow bridge

He had been going through a good patch with his health but unfortunately my druggie neighbour skipped court and 8 detectives came looking for her but unfortunately decided she lived in my flat and were hammering on the windows and the door. I didn’t know they were detectives until after the incident and as a result I was hiding behind the armchair crying, shaking and terrified. Barney came and comforted me throughout, eventually the detectives realized they had the wrong flat and caught her. I was so angry and upset about this incident and I was literally begging to be allowed to move out. The following day Barney went off his food. Initially I was not worried because it happens a lot, but this time he didn’t recover when I gave him his medications so we took him to the vet. I assumed he would be okay again so I just said ‘be a good boy Barney’ when I left him. That was the last time I saw him. The next morning I called the vets to find out how he was. They told me they would call me back as he was in with the vet. I got a call back over half an hour later saying that he bloated up again then suddenly died. They tried everything but they couldn’t bring him back. Heartbroken isn’t the word to describe it. It has been over two weeks and I am still so sad about losing my best friend.

I hit rock bottom

I mentioned in my last post how much Barney’s company meant to me. I am not going to lie, I did feel suicidal after his death. It has taken a lot of strength, support and getting out of the flat to improve my health again. I miss my baby boy every single day but I have been through this before and I know I will be okay in the end.

House hunting has come to a halt

The place I was looking at has gone really quiet… I hope they are still opening this year!

At least I have somewhere to practice my flute…

When I lived in the flat, my neighbours would bang on the floor whenever I played my flute. Ironic considering their racket was what was driving me insane… Now that I don’t have to sleep under them, I am able to go and fully utilise my flat’s acoustics and I am learning to play my flute. Is it driving them mad? Probably, yes *evil laugh*

So yes, a lot has happened, most of it bad, but I am pushing through.

I am sure going to miss booping that snoot. Say hello to Lorenne for me Barney. 

One thought on “Where do I even start? An Update…

  1. Hiya stranger!
    Oh no wait, I’m the stranger “doh”
    Thanx for the update, I was thinking about your blog the other day 😊
    Life is a mix of sometimes bad, mostly mediocre, and occasionally good. I have found that what works for me is to write down the good things, so you can refresh your memory about achievements and positive results. It can be hard work and the good memories often fade under the tide of negative emotions. When I find myself being dragged down I review my bragging list and it refills my positivity, so I can go on to achieve more good results.
    Sorry to hear about your Barney 😟 he meant so much to you 🐰🐰🐰

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