Pretending to be normal went wrong…

*Warning, contains the word normal to describe the general population. This is for simplicities sake and not to cause upset!*

I did something stupid yesterday. I tried to be normal. You’d think, given that I am to turn 27 in just 4 days time that I would have learnt not to try normal things, but apparently I have been so confident (or cocky perhaps?) lately that I actually thought it was a good idea to go to a rock concert…

Anyone with autism/autism parents reading this are probably thinking WHY!?

Because I have been built up to fail, that’s why.

That’s the problem with having autism. People look at you and think you are so ‘normal’ looking so you need to do ‘normal’ things. It’s normal to go to a rock concert. The concert in question was in Hyde Park yesterday. It was a ‘The Who’ concert. I love The Who so much and I’ve been so calm recently I honestly thought I could do it. I’ve never been to a concert before, I guess I was naive. I had pictured it totally differently to what actually welcomed me when I got there. Crowds of people (duh, but I didn’t picture them…), drunkenness, inedible but expensive food (I had to buy a cheesy calzone even though I am lactose intolerant. You wouldn’t want to share a room with me today) as we weren’t allowed to bring our own in, yet others were smoking wacky backy and generally it was horrid. A totally unfriendly environment for autism. But hey, that’s what ‘normal’ people like so fuck the weird people who like rock music but don’t want the sex and drug aspect eh? I left early, having had a massive panic attack/meltdown and didn’t get to see The Who. Am I going to regret missing them? Yes, for the rest of my fucking life.

I hate autism.

(Pete Townshend, if you read this… unlikely… I admire your work and I hope you told everyone to fuck off 😉 )

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