So as you all (all three of my followers) know, I can write pretty well. It seems, however, that when I am given a deadline, a topic and told to put in text citations, my brain turns into mush. I am starting to wonder whether taking on a course with such a theoretical subject (people, work and society access module) was such a good idea given that my brain works black and white! I can theorise, but trying to prove it is hard when there is no right answer! Sometimes I wish I was a maths genius, not good at writing, because stuff involving writing involves creativity (something I lost since I started taking prozac) and maths is set in stone. 2+2 always = 4. (If anyone else tells me otherwise I will track you down and set my hamster on you)
So anyway I’m supposed to be writing this essay but writers block comes slamming in my face. No point fighting the block everyone says, ‘take your mind off it’. So I did. I sat and watched Chess in concert. I read some of the bible (that’s some gory stuff in there *shudders*), I watched a squirrel gallivanting around in my garden. I played with the hamster. I played with the rabbits. I played my computer. I watched something on Youtube which led me to watching ten other things on Youtube and eventually ended up watching Tommy the Pinball wizard. I am now so obsessed with Tommy that all thoughts of essay writing are manifesting themselves as nervous tension (tics mostly) and the only way to calm myself down was to learn to play Pinball Wizard on my guitar. I can now do this (I’ll record it tomorrow perhaps, it’s 9:29 in the evening and I don’t think my neighbours would appreciate it!), and part of me feels fulfilled but I still haven’t written my essay!
You may blame modern technology for my procrastination, after all, the computer has been a constant call out to me since I began studying, however when I am struggling this much, even my finger becomes a distraction. Bend it back 90 degrees… Bend it forward 90 degrees… oooh. (autism not drugs!). Heck, I wish I could just send this piece of writing off instead of my essay and get marked for it!
So here’s the in text citation:
Some psychologists cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision. [Fiore, Neil A (2006). The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt- Free Play. New York: Penguin Group. p. 5. ISBN 978-1-58542-552-5.]
Do I get 100% for effort?