My new beginning in ruins – part 2

Firstly I must apologise for the lack of follow up to my previous blog post. The delay has happened for a number of reasons. One of those is that since discovering I had basically been excluded from college, I sunk into a deep depression. I have been struggling to eat and exercise as usual and spent most of the past weeks sleeping or lying motionless on my bed waiting for death to step a little closer. The second reason is that I managed to step on my laptop and break the screen setting me back £80. I will not be leaving that on the floor again… The third reason is that, until yesterday, I had heard absolutely nothing worth reporting from the college so I suppose this is where this blog begins. 


Mum rang me last night to tell me that, after waiting weeks for the college to send an e-mail telling us the reason for my exclusion to the senior support worker at my house, a letter had arrived from the college to her. She was informed that they needed my permission to send an e-mail to the senior support worker, however at no point was I phoned or e-mailed to request such permission. So I was fuming about that as now my Mum, who lives 30+ miles away from me and therefore cannot just drop the letter in, has to photocopy the letter and re-send it to my address. Why did they not send it to ME? 


I haven’t read the letter yet as a result, but my Mum says it makes pretty disappointing reading. They have pretty much just written what was said at the meeting without elaborating as to why I cannot come back. I have now got my Mum, house manager, senior support worker, advocate and a lady who works for a local autism charity fighting my corner. I want the college to acknowledge the damage they have done by telling me that I am not ready for college when I know that I am. Instead of going to college a few times a week, I am sitting around at home staring at a computer screen and going slowly insane. I need to be stimulated constantly so my boredom and solitude is driving me to become impulsive and reckless yet again. 


One result of my impulsiveness is currently the cause of my inability to sleep right now. I am tired and want to go to bed, but my new hamster, Rémy, spends the whole night chewing the bars on her hamster mansion. She has a massive cage consisting of a large fish tank (minus water!) with a fairly large sized hamster cage on top with wire mesh stopping her from making the great escape. I got very told off for buying Rémy because I ‘didn’t follow procedure’ within our company, but everyone’s okay about it now because I apologised and apart from keeping me awake at night, I love Rémy and she seems to like me! 

Although things feel extremely negative right now, I am trying to look to a future which does not contain college. Getting out and about is tough right now as my new bus pass hasn’t come yet and it is too wet to cycle. I am considering auditioning for a local am-dram group in a couple of weeks time which is a step forward. Other than that, I eat (reluctantly), sleep and clean out all my pets. Such is my life at the moment. Maybe I should start writing some books… 


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