The curse of the obsession

One of the parts of my autism is that I get intense obsessions. I have been like this ever since I was a child. I have always noticed the intensity of my obsession is a lot stronger than most of my peers and that I am more likely to continue liking the same thing for a very long time. I can’t remember too much about my first obsession, nor why it came about, but I had to collect apple pips! I was only 4 at the time but I found them fascinating. My first real obsession was when I was 9 years old and it worried the heck out of my poor Mum. 


One day I went downstairs to watch TV and as I was flicking through our incredible 7 channels (well it seemed impressive in 1998…) I came across a cartoon. Being 9, I was inclined to watch any animated programme (except Ren and Stimpy which caused a bizarre panic attack!) and this one really caught my interest. Within a matter of weeks, I was hooked on Pokémon! So what I hear you say? A lot of 9 year olds were (and probably still are) obsessed with Pokémon. I took it to the next level. I didn’t just watch the show, I did research, learnt everything there was to know about Pokémon including their numbers and stats, which I hasten to add was much simpler back when there were 150 Pokémon! Unlike my friends who were happy to OCCASIONALLY (important word that) talk about Pokémon, I always spoke about it. The other main difference is that most of my peers would know that their dear uncle would have absolutely no idea what you are talking about or would at least pick up the subtle signs in body language and facial expression which indicated boredom. I did not, so ended up following my poor uncle around during a five hour party telling him everything I knew. Mum said she looked on, wondering why I was not picking up the (to her anyway) blatantly obvious fact that he was bored out of his mind! 


I would like to say things have improved since then. I would be lying. Over the years, I have hopped from obsessive interest to obsessive interest (although I almost always end up back on Pokémon!) including Futurama, rabbits, games consoles and most recently the Big Bang Theory. I started watching it on E4 recently after being told that I reminded several people of one of the characters, Sheldon (I might discuss this in another blog or I might not. Wait and see!). I loved the programme instantly. The more I watched it the more wound up I felt between episodes. When I get obsessed, I don’t just want to watch one or two episodes, no I have to watch every single one from start to finish, memorise practically every line and learn EVERYTHING about the characters! I impulse bought the boxset of series 1-5 which was a big mistake as it did not work and the store did not adhere to my demand for a refund. Luckily they cleaned it for me and so far so good. My support for the day asked me why I got so wound up about buying it. I explained that my obsessions feel like being on drugs (well what I know from other people’s experience anyway mine are all legal!). I needed my ‘fix’ of BBT so I spent £30 on the box set. Okay so it was pretty impulsive, especially as it is just before Christmas (although my parents did not know of my BBT obsession until last week so no doubles!) but as soon as I saw it, it had to be in my hands! Okay so living off scraps for the rest of the week wasn’t too fun, but I never learn this lesson! Impatient you are says Yoda. 


For now my obsession with the Big bang theory seems to be pretty dominant, although my obsession with retro games consoles has also made a return. I have been playing various games on my various consoles but my favourite will always be Goldeneye 007 on the N64. Technically the N64 when first released was actually only 32 bit same as the PS1 but eventually an expansion pack came out which allowed it to reach it’s full 64 bit potential. I don’t think N32 sounds as good as N64 though… Anyway I’m off to bed in 5 minutes (always 10:00 on the dot) so I will leave you with one parting quote:


‘I’m not insane, my mother had me tested’ 




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